Parenting While Sick And........

You guys, I am so over having the creepy crud.

It started last Friday as a throat tickle. I felt awful Saturday and Sunday. By Monday morning, I had no voice.

By no voice, I mean I could squeak out some words before I started coughing. (My husband found this hilarious. I can't blame him...too much.)

Tuesday was no better. Neither was Wednesday. By Thursday, I could at least talk for the most part. But I've been coughing a little through the days and a lot more when I lay down at night.

And I'm OVER IT.

But let me tell you about keeping up with a toddler in this condition.

First off, my child loves to be read to. Not having a voice and coughing when I tried to speak meant I couldn't read to her. Cue the meltdowns!

Disciplining becomes...interesting. Barely being able to talk makes it difficult for A) the child to realize your tone means trouble and B) why they're in trouble.

Stopping your child from getting into things they aren't supposed to from across the room becomes impossible. Normally, you can say "No" loudly and at least startle them into stopping. When you can't talk, you end up making a mad dash across the home to stop any catastrophes from happening. Which then zaps all your energy because you're, ya know, sick and....

Pregnant? (Yes, pregnancy hormones make me ridiculously sleepy.)

Yep! That plus sign definitely means I'm pregnant with baby number two!

I've been trying to do a decent job of tracking my cycles so I can be prepared even it comes. And I was pretty dang certain I was late by Wednesday. So I took a test Thursday...and a "let's double check" test Friday....and both came back positive!!

We told his parents yesterday and my parents, along with my brother, sister-in-law and a few close friends today. We're all pretty excited! And now you all know!

Until next time!! 

Traveling With a Toddler

Last Thursday marked the start of fall break for my husband. So we decided to take a whirlwind trip back home to visit our immediate families. By whirlwind trip, I mean we left Wednesday after lunch and came back Friday afternoon. 

Now, traveling with a toddler is some tricky business. I like being over-prepared. Which means at least one extra outfit and one extra pair of pajamas for the little one. You never know when pee will soak through, or someone will get sick. Which also means an extra shirt and pants for both mom and dad. Fortunately, the extra clothes weren't needed this time around!

Along with packing, we like to make sure Rin has all her "babies." It's hard enough to get her to go to sleep in a strange place. Surround her with her normal stuff! We also like to make sure she has something to entertain her in her down time. Got all that? Pack it into the car.

The next step is timing the drive. It takes us around two hours, sometimes a little more, to make the trip home. Rin's afternoon nap usually lasts about two hours, so we try to leave right after lunch. 

Here's where things got fun for us. We stopped to get gas (and caffeine). Rin slept for about an hour, then woke up. Guys, the look she gives us when she's stuck in the carseat and sleepy is one hilarious grumpy pout. Okay, so great...she didn't get a good nap in. Hey! Maybe that means she'll sleep tonight!

Fast forward a little to when we arrive at our (super cheap) hotel. Once we finally got checked in, we headed up to the room. Andrew brought in our stuff while Rin did what I imagine every toddler does in a new environment...explored EVERYTHING. I mean, she opened drawers, climbed chairs, tried to climb the bed, went into the bathroom....EVERYTHING. We unpacked everything as quickly as possible and headed right back out to my brother and sister-in-law's house to meet my parents. At this point, as you can imagine, my rambunctious and sleepy toddler did NOT want to be back in the car seat. 

Once we got to our destination, Rin looked right at my mom, also known as Bubbi, and said "Paw-paw?!" while pointing away from her. This girl loves my dad (Paw-paw). After hanging out around the house for a little while, we three and my parents went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I'm never sure how well Rin will eat at a new place, but she had much food since lunch, so she ate. And ate. And ate. We discovered she loves salsa (as she was trying to dip her chip into my bowl). When she was finally done eating, we headed back to the hotel.

If you're traveling with a toddler, and said toddler usually goes to bed fairly early, expect their sleeping schedule to be SCREWED. Rin usually goes to sleep around 7. We didn't get back to the hotel until after 7. To keep some semblance to normalcy, I gave her a quick bath, read some books, and put her down in a pack-and-play. Guys, did I mention getting a toddler to sleep in a new place is really hard?! I think she finally fell asleep around 8:30.

The next day? Breakfast with the grandparents! Breakfast was delicious, and again, Rin ate. She normally doesn't cooperate with breakfast out, so I only ordered her an egg. We all ended up sharing something with her....bacon, biscuit, grits, toast. Girl was hungry! After that, we went back to hang out with my sister-in-law and her three boys. Craziness ensued with lots of stuffed animals and playing. This was the first time I can remember Rin really playing with her cousins.

Then it was nap time! We had a "picnic" on the hotel bed for lunch, then all three of us passed out. Andrew had to wake both Rin and me up. After we all got our heads un-fuzzed, we went to Andrew's parents (Grandma and Grandpa)! 

You guys, Rin went right to them even though she hasn't seen them in months. We all went outside and she played and played and played and played. They have three shelties, so there are plenty of balls to play with. She moved them back and forth through the yard. She took Grandpa in circles on their back porch. She tried so hard to get one of the shelties to play with her. She played on the swing set. She met one of the neighbor's giant birds. We all had pizza for dinner and she happily sat on Grandma's lap to eat her dinner.

We got back to the hotel around 7:30 that night after lots and lots of fun and conversation. After baths and books, it was time to sleep! This night, Rin was out. We laid her down and "hid" so she wouldn't stay awake just for us and in less than five minutes, she had stopped playing with her "babies" and passed out. We didn't stay up too much longer than her. 

Friday morning, we got up and got some really not good continental breakfast. Here's a piece of advice: if your toddler has been well behaved the whole trip, do NOT say anything about it! You will jinx it! I made the mistake of mentioning how well behaved she was and she started going crazy and not listening and crying for no reason and just....AGH! 

After checking out, we grabbed some actual breakfast, then headed back to my sister-in-law's. This morning was beautiful and warm, so we all played "soccer" in the front yard. As you can see, it was more just kicking a soccer ball around with the two oldest boys while Rin and the youngest boy ran around with plastic baseball bats, giggling.

All seven of us left to grab lunch with my brother. Trying to get food for four adults and four children under the age of six is...interesting. But fun. After lunch, we swung back by Grandma and Grandpa's for a bit. Rin played. When we left, she slept maybe thirty minutes until we stopped by Statesville to see Bubbi and Paw-paw again. I don't think Rin slept much more than that on the road. We finally reached home around 6:30 and we were all exhausted! I was started to not feel well. 

We all went to bed fairly early that night. 

Now, this may be too much information, but I have issues going to the bathroom when I'm traveling. If your toddler has this issue as well, be prepared for a poop-storm (yes, I'm censoring myself) when you get home. You will clean more poop up in one day than you thought possible from such a tiny person. I won't go into any more detail than that.

Moral of this long story?

When traveling with a toddler, be prepared with their favorite things, especially bedtime things.

Take extra clothes (just in case).

Be prepared for the sleep schedule to go crazy.

Don't jinx yourself by talking about their good behavior.

Take lots of snacks.

Be prepared for poop after getting home.

Oh, and be prepared to be completely and totally exhausted from the massive amounts of fun that you've all had!

Until next time! 

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That (AKA food, games, and politics)

Hello all. I'm going to start with some more lighthearted writing today, then add on some seriousness at the end. That way, if you wish to only read the happy things, you can do so without having to deal with my serious (more politically involved) thoughts. Because I know many of you are sick of seeing politics, and I understand.

So! This week has been mostly fun. I made homemade "chex mix" Monday, which was quite yummy.

Ingredients:

4 C rice chex (or crispix)

2 C pretzels

2 C goldfish

3 T melted butter

4 tsp Worcestershire sauce

2 tsp lemon juice

1/4 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp garlic powder

hot sauce to taste (sriracha is great)

1) Preheat the oven to 250 degrees.

2) Mix all the ingredients and put in a 9x13 pan.

3) Bake for 45 minutes, turning every 15.

*I do it for a little less time as my oven runs hot.

4) Dump out on paper towels and let cool. 

Then I made pumpkin bread Tuesday! This was the second time I've made pumpkin bread. I found this recipe on Once Upon A Chef, which is also where I found a delicious recipe for chocolate banana bread. 

Now, the first time I made this pumpkin bread was last week, and it was the first time my husband ever tried pumpkin bread. He is generally anti-pumpkin because of all the pumpkin spice outrage. I believe his actual words on the topic are, "I'm sick of it." BUT he tried it, and he really liked it! Score! Plus Rin really likes it too. So....double score! And me? I love pumpkin bread, and this tasted amazing, soooo....TRIPLE SCORE FOR THE WIN!!!

Since this recipe makes two loaves, though, and I'm not sure there's a good way to cut it in half, this week, I made it on a day that we had friends over and "forced" them to take some home with them.

Speaking of! We tried a new game this week (after the peanut had gone to bed....because playing tabletop games is IMPOSSIBLE if she's awake) called Ascension. Oh my gosh, you guys, it is so much fun. And not too complicated. Beginner's luck was with me on this night too, because I kicked butt the second time around. I normally wouldn't brag, but I almost never win games with these guys, so I'm still feeling excellent about it! 

The rest of the week included the first pot of chili of this autumn season. We strained the chili so Rin could eat it, and eat it she did.

And today, I tried something new. Rin likes to "help" with the laundry, so I got her to put her own clothes away (yeah, not folded, but she yanks them out randomly anyways, and I get tired of re-folding them). She LOVED it. Thank goodness. I'd like to think that if we cultivate good habits in her now, she'll keep at them when she grows up. Then I remember what I was like as a teenager/young adult, and I can't help but think "Lord help us all." Haha!

To conclude the lighthearted section, here's Miss Thang playing blocks with her daddy:

Now, on to more serious matters.

I'm finding out a lot during this current presidential election season.

I'm finding...
...that this country is deeply divided on almost everything.
...that I know less about my extended family than I thought I did.
...that hatred in this country is rampant.
...that we, as a people, seem to have forgotten that the president, while the face of this country, is not who holds all the power.
...that we, as a people, don't seem to care about the smaller elections, thought those make a more regular difference in our lives.
...that the "liberal left" and the "conservative right" tend to view each other as enemies.
...that we, as a people, can't seem to accept that others see life differently.
...that we, as a people, see different from us is just wrong.
...that we, as a people, have lost (if, indeed, we ever had) the ability to work together to find a compromise.

You guys, if you talk to someone who isn't voting the same as you, or who doesn't believe the same as you, don't listen just to have the chance to attack them. All that does is create animosity. Maybe if we listened to understand, we could instead compromise our positions to find one that works for all people. Or maybe you could find your mind changed, or at least expanded.

It hurts my soul to hear and see some of the things people are saying to each other. They call each other stupid, sexist, racist, arrogant, misogynistic, lazy, and many other names I won't repeat  Maybe in some cases, it's sadly true. But I can tell you what we mostly are, and that is ignorant. We simply do not know everything. We don't know as much as we should because we turn a blind eye and refuse to listen to the valid concerns of our neighbors.

We are no longer the land of the free and the home of the brave. We have become largely the land of hatred of differences and the home of the scared of everything different.

And that, my friends, breaks my heart.

If you wish to know more about what I personally believe, or anything else, feel free to ask. Until next time...

Life...It's freakin hard!

Good afternoon everyone!

Man, it's been a long time. Life gets busy, you know? And sometimes that busy-ness is, well, sucky.

I'm going to be real with you right now.
Married life is HARD.
Parent life is HARD.
Add the two together? It is the most difficult, beautiful, frustrating, gratifying thing ever.

It's especially difficult when all you see are the happy snips of life people post online ALL. THE. TIME.
And, come on, we ALL know no one's life is that perfect. But we fall for the trap of comparison anyways. Why is that? Why can't we all be real with each other? I'm sure I've written about this before, but it is something I feel needs continuous attention. Maybe, just maybe, if everyone can really grasp that what we see of people's lives online isn't a full reality, we can stop comparing and stop feeling like crap about ourselves.

And then maybe we can start feeling comfortable being REAL with each other. (I'm not telling you to air all your dirty laundry on social media either. I'm just asking you to stop acting like everything is picture perfect in your household.)

Now, here's the biggie. In order for us to be real with each other, we have to be real with ourselves (gasp!). We need to figure out who we are and be that person. You aren't just a mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband, daughter, son. You are a HUMAN BEING with a sense of self. Who you are is NOT defined by your relationships to other people.

Mothers, I'm talking to you specifically now. I know I'm guilty of this, I get so caught up in being "mom" that I forget how to be myself. I forget to do what I enjoy, and eventually can't even remember what I enjoy doing! Let's try to stop falling into this trap. Yes, your role as "mom" is so very important. But you can't be your best mom-self if you can't remember how to be your self-self.

After falling into this trap myself, I've had to rediscover what I enjoy doing.

Some things are still the same from when I was younger:
Reading
Singing
Dancing
Coloring (anyone wanna have an adult coloring party sometime?)

Some things are new to my adult life:
Yoga
Baking goodies
Some video games
Wine (can I get a heck yeah?!)

Now, my new trap that I'm falling into is that of not being fully present with my loved ones. Even if I'm doing nothing else, my mind drifts when I'm with them. It's part of what has me scared to take care of myself. I start thinking I won't want to come back from my sense of peace from yoga, or whatever world I've immersed (finally just learned how to spell that word) myself in.

However, I wonder if I take the time to truly enjoy myself in some of these things, would I be able to start being fully present? If I allow myself to drift away into what I love, will I be able to concentrate more in this world?

Has anyone else ever had this conundrum? Or am I going crazy?

So I ask you all...

How do you find balance in your life? How do you juggle all your hats without losing your sense of self? How do you find the motivation you need to get even half of your to-do list done in a day?

Please, share your answers with me. I would love to hear them.

Much love to you all.

And to give a bright end to a solemn post, here's two pictures of my silly toddler.

New Beginnings

Hello again all! It's been quite some time since I've written, so I thought I'd jump on while I have a chance and let you all know what's knew. Granted, if you're my friend on facebook, you probably already know all of this, but I'm going to say it all anyways.

If I go in order of events, I should start with having a baby!

February 13, I was awake around 2:30 am, unable to go back to sleep, and counting very mild contractions at about 5 minutes apart. So Andrew and I went to the hospital at around 4 am. My contractions were just regular enough that they decided to keep me for observation to see if I was dilating. My midwife checked me around 8 am and told me that she would normally say to go home and walk, but being as it was well below freezing, she suggested I stay and walk in the hospital and that she'd check me around lunchtime.

At lunchtime, she measured me at 90-95% effaced and dilated to 4 cm. So she broke my water. She told me to start thinking about petosin to help move things along faster since I'd already been at the hospital that long, as well as an epidural (since most people who get petosin need one). Well, let me tell you! Once my contractions really hit, they hit hard! There was no more thinking about an epidural - I wanted one right then and there! At one point, I had to use the bathroom, and I had a contraction so back it made me poop and puke all at the same time.

SO I got an epidural. With the first one, unfortunately, I was one of those women that get a hot spot, which is one isolated area where you can still feel contractions...and it was in my right hip. Plus I was a little lightheaded. So the anesthesiologist came and took that one out and put in a new one in a different location. That was the second time I threw up. After that second one started working, though, I was able to relax and get a short nap in.

A little while later, Andrew decided to go find something to eat (he'd had about as much as I'd had to eat that day). The midwife came in as the nurse was about to check my progress and start me on petosin. As soon as the midwife checked me, she asked where dad was, so we had to call Andrew and say "it's time!" I had gone from 5-10 cm in an hour and was ready to push! (At some point in this story, they had to hook a monitor to my baby's head to check her heart rate because it had dipped so low. My memory of the day is a tad bit blurry.)

Well, Andrew held my left leg, which I couldn't feel at all, while the nurse held my right leg. Twenty minutes of pushing later, out came this beautiful 8 lb, 19.5 inch long baby girl. And we became parents.

I know there's a few things about that day that I probably left out, like when I had a contraction in front of the nurses station and told them all "This sucks!" when it was over. But that's the jist of it.

Now for other great news: Andrew and I got married! We kept it simple and just went to the magistrate's office with my parents and his dad. We plan to do a ceremony of some sort, maybe a vows renewal type thing, next year or the year after that we'll invite a lot of friends to so there's a celebration. But I'm super happy! (Also, you know it's love when they see you at your grossest...IE puking/pooping or pushing out a baby...and still think you're beautiful and are proud of you!)

Other than that, I've just been taking things one day at a time. I'm learning to be both a wife and a mom now. And I wouldn't change a thing.

It's 2015!

So, Happy New Year! Okay, so I'm a few days late for the holiday, but I've been a little busy. Therefore, I'm doing my new year post today.

First, a reflection on 2014. Last year, I made a few resolutions, most of which I actually kept.
Here's what they were and how that went:
1. Finish reading my Bible. While I didn't finish, I did at least make a good dent in how far I got.
2. Live in love (or stop living in fear). I've gotten much better at not living in fear and learning to speak up for myself.
3. Plan trips. While I didn't make any huge trip plans, I have gotten much better (with the help of my wonderful fiance) at planning trips home to visit family and friends.
4. Take care of myself physically. I've definitely done well with this. I got to the point that I could jog two miles, got a lot of my flexibility back, drank lots more water, cooked more, and took better care of my appearance. Granted, I also got pregnant, which meant I've had to make sure to take decent care of myself.
5. Repair and/or replace old junk. Done, done, and done.
6. Be in at least one play.I was in Chicago, which is a dream come true, so check!
7. Choreograph a full routine. Unfortunately, I didn't finish a routine. I did get quite a bit of one done, though! And I finished some other artsy projects, so go me!

What else happened in 2014 that's worth noting? I:

A) moved in with my then boyfriend,

 B) worked at the humane society,

C) made some friends,
D) found out I was pregnant with a little girl,
E) got engaged,

F) and knitted an entire blanket!

I also had the joy of being able to decorate for Christmas for the first time in years!!

So now, what have I been up to these last few days? Mostly, getting ready for Rin to arrive. Once we got back to Boone from an extended visit home (which was on the 2nd), we unpacked, rearranged the apartment, and we're still working on getting everything put away. I still can't believe it's so close to my due date. Right now, I'm at 33 works. Which means that at the end of this month, I'm considered full term and I can go into labor at any point.

As for how the pregnancy itself is going, to start out with, I'm finally to that point that it's surprising if I don't accidentally pee a little when I do things like sneeze really hard. My body seems to be functioning properly though, so that's a great thing to think about!

I still find it fascinating when I can feel her move. Her favorite spot to stick (I'm assuming) her butt is my ribs on the left side of my body...especially when I'm trying to eat. She knows her daddy's voice and will boogy to music. And she's started sticking her foot out. I'm assuming it's a foot at least.

So yeah, pregnancy is going well. The only complaint I have is that I've discovered that pregnancy insomnia is a real thing and it's incredibly obnoxious.

On a super bright side, though, my mom and dad are getting to come over around the time Rin is due to be born! I'm so so so excited and thankful for this!!!

Now, what are my goals for 2015? I'm going to keep it simple this year.
1) Get legally married, and be the best wife I can be.
2) Give birth to a healthy baby, and be the best mom I can be.
3) Have grace with myself as I grow into my new roles.
4) Start to get myself back into shape after having a baby, while finding beauty in the changes that have occurred in my body.

Hopefully, I'll be able to accomplish these things. There's a few other things I'd love to do, but I know I'll have plenty on my plate with just becoming a mom.

That's all for now!!

Grace

Why does no one like to write about real life anymore? It's not all rainbows like we are so often led to believe. That's one of the reasons people have such low self esteem. Just remember, do not compare your life to what you see of someone else's. It's kind of like comparing your whole story to the highlight reel of someone else's.

Anyways, I like to write about real life. The good and the bad. The last post was a happy one. This one is a little more vulnerable.

I found this article on Facebook this morning, and I'm glad I read it. Because lately, if I'm honest, I haven't been very gracious to myself.

It started the other night when my body decided to not do something it previously was able to do (which, let's be honest, happens a lot during pregnancy: can't comfortably sleep, can't lift some objects, can't turn around or stand up too fast, can't digest food the same way...the list goes on), and I got frustrated and embarrassed and shed a few tears. Actually, this wasn't the first thing that happened, as you can probably tell by that list.

Skip to yesterday. I got upset and angry over something minor. For those of you who don't know me very well, I tend to cry some when I'm angry. Well, the tears started. I tried to dry them up. That only made me cry harder.

Then I realized, I wasn't just crying because I was angry.
 I was crying because I am exhausted, and frustrated with myself for always being exhausted.

I was crying because I am afraid of the people I need suddenly not being there when I need them.

I was crying because I am so used to wanting to do things myself, and everyone I talk to and everything I read has told me to rely on the help of others both during pregnancy and (especially) for the first few weeks after the baby is born.

I was crying because I am so afraid of having a baby and raising a baby and all the things I could do wrong.

And to be perfectly honest, I was probably crying a lot due to the craziness of pregnancy hormones. Gotta love 'em.

Thankfully, last night, I was able to talk a lot of this through with my wonderful fiancee (I love him more than I can even express). He reminds me so much:
It's okay to be exhausted. And it's okay to sleep when I'm tired. I won't have that luxury soon enough.

I don't have to be afraid of him suddenly not supporting me when it comes time to have a baby. Unless I have a crazy fast 30 minute labor/delivery, he will be there and be willing to do whatever I need him to do (even if that's breaking all the bones in his fingers....his words, not mine).

It's okay to rely on others to help. It's necessary. And we have friends and family who are more than willing to help.

Last of all, it's okay to be scared. He's worried about some of the same things I am, plus some. But he always tells me that I'm going to be a great mom. And if someone wants to say negative or condescending things about the way we choose to raise our daughter, we can politely remind them that we are the ones raising her, not them.
(That isn't to say we don't want advise. Constructive criticism is one thing...berating someone is a whole other ballgame).

And then I read that article this morning, reminding me that I won't have it all together and that's OKAY!

It is okay to break down and cry sometimes. As a matter of fact, it's healthy. Everyone always says that it isn't healthy to be down and scared and overwhelmed. Not true. If we didn't feel these things, we wouldn't be human.
The unhealthy thing is when people get in that place of negativity and live there. They don't take a deep breath, buck up, and move on. And when that happens, they need someone willing to help them move on.

Long story short, I have to learn to have grace with myself. Kind of ironic, since my name actually means grace.

On a sort of side note, this song is amazing. It's a love song, but not the cheesy, everything is always perfect, typical love song. This one is more real. It shows how messy love can be. All kinds of love, really. Friendship, family, significant other, self.
Please note, if you are offended by the "F-word," you probably won't want to listen to it. I think he says it like 5 times, 4 of which are close together. If you can listen to it without that changing your opinion, though, awesome: listen to it.