Happy Mother's Day!

The day I became a mother (2015)

Ah, motherhood. It leaves you exhausted and emotionally drained so many days (or is that just toddlers?). Some days, I wonder if it's all worth it. I wonder why the heck I ever thought this was a good idea.

And then I have days like how this morning has been (how appropriate, since it IS Mother's Day).

I actually get a halfway decent night of sleep (hello, 4 hour stretch followed by a 3 hour stretch, with no nightmares).

Andrew makes a simple breakfast for Rin after getting her up and dressed. While I take my time waking up by myself.

I drink a nice hot cup of tea and eat my favorite easy breakfast of my childhood (hello, peanut butter toast).

And I proceed to spend the morning in my pajama's, snuggling with Rin off and on while I play games and just be generally relaxed and a little lazy.

On top of that, Rin is actually cooperating with going to the potty.

Miracles do happen.

And days like these remind me how fun and lovely motherhood can be.

I remember spending lazy Saturday and Sunday mornings with my mom, staying in my pajamas until noon. It may not have happened often, but it did happen.

So here's to you moms out there, working your butts off to do what needs to be done.

Here's to my own mom, who helped mold me into the person I am today. Who did her best to teach me time management. Who taught me how to make the house at least appear clean when company was coming over. Who (thankfully) taught me how to do laundry early on.

My mom, who encouraged me through everything I faced to stay strong. Who reminded me that I could do anything.

My mom, whom I fought with, laughed with, cried on, danced and sang in public with. Who I shared hot fries or popcorn and Cheerwine with on school day afternoons.

My mom, who has become one of the best friends I could ask for. Whose love and concern for me I can feel radiating all the way from South Africa on a daily basis.

I love you and I miss you. And I am so grateful for your love (and for not selling me on whatever the equivalent of eBay was before the internet). Happy Mother's Day.

And Happy Mother's Day to all the other special moms in my life.

Mom and I being crazy, as per usual (2013)

The More Intense Scare

As many of you know, I went to the hospital early last week for some preterm labor symptoms. Many of you also are aware that I went back later in the week, and that my experience that time was WAY more involved, and a little bit terrifying. As a head's up, I probably do not remember everything that happened. And I'm still exhausted, as I probably will be for the remainder of this pregnancy, so I sincerely apologize if anything I say here isn't the most coherent.

So here's the nitty gritty:

Thursday morning, I started having contractions again. And they were worse than the ones on Monday. Not exactly painful, except a lot of cramping in my lower back, but they were definitely there. I chugged a bottle of water and laid down for close to an hour, which is what they tell you to do to make sure they aren't Braxton Hicks contractions, and it didn't help. So, I called the hospital and they told me to come in.

At this point, it was close to lunchtime so I knew I should go ahead and feed Rin, as well as myself. I also needed to pack at least enough to entertain Rin through the evening, as well as get her pack and play in the car so she could attempt to nap in the hospital for the first little while.

Trying to get ready, of course, was a nightmare. Between phone calls and text messages and trying to focus enough to get what I needed, I ended up stressing way more than necessary. So, I've decided that by the time I go into labor next, I'm going to have a system in place of who's telling who. And a rule of "I'll tell you what I can when I can. Don't ask questions!" (For those of you who know how I am when I'm stressed or busy, this shouldn't come as a surprise.)

Anyways, I got to the hospital. By the time I got Rin set up and myself changed into one of the gowns, my blood pressure was apparently quite high. The nurse decided to assume that was because I was obviously stressed, which I definitely appreciated. Fast forward some hours. Mama and Papa Catanese came to watch Rin until we knew better what was going to happen. Andrew got there when he could. I ended up having to have my cervix checked to find out I had gone from the 1-2 cm on Monday to 3 cm that afternoon. Since I was still having regular contractions, guess what that meant?!

I got shipped off to Winston Salem. Why? Watauga Medical Center does not have a NICU. Which is definitely understandable considering how relatively small a population it serves. Winston is the closest one.

So I had to be hooked up to an IV for starters. The first two times I was stuck, they hit a valve. By the third try, I was about to pass out/throw up. They thought it was anxiety.....it was just pain. I hate being stuck with a needle more than necessary and I absolutely loathe IV needles. They also drew blood to test my liver for any other signs that something was wrong since my blood pressure was high. I also got two shots. One in the back of my right arm (I think that was for starting to try and stop contractions), one in the muscle of my left arm (the first of two steroid shots to help Amelia's lungs develop quicker in case she made her appearance early). And they did the group B strep test.

The first 2 IV attempts. I look like someone wrapped their hand around it and squeezed still.

That's definitely bruised.

I got lots and lots of fluids going in the IV, as well as antibiotics. The liver screen came back clean, and I just got the news yesterday that my group B strep test came back negative as well. Mama and Papa took Rin with them and got some things to keep her for a few days for us. I cried like a baby when they left (and then had to explain to the nurses that I was only crying because this was the first time Rin's been away from both Andrew and I overnight). Andrew arranged a ride with a friend of ours (thanks again, Ryan!) since he wasn't allowed to ride in the ambulance.

I got strapped into the gurney and taken down to the ambulance. The EMT workers were fantastic and one of my nurses rode in the back with me as well. By the time we got to Winston, though, my ribs and hips ached from having to lay flat. The EMT guy wanted to steal my super colorful owl bag....and then later my super colorful tennis shoes haha.

I honestly don't remember much about the rest of that night. I know I saw a ton of different people. They did an ultrasound after they got me into my room to see Amelia's position, which at the time, was transverse. So they had someone talk to me about C-sections. It was all fine and dandy information to have, but it's safe to say it freaked me out a bit in the long run. Plus, someone came in and took a vial of blood again (and did an awful job....I've never had blood being drawn hurt anywhere near that bad).

Saturday night. The one on the left is from the one blood draw that hurt. The one on the right is from the other 3.

This is from Monday morning. They still look really rough.

Friday, I had the most amazing nurse. I remember telling her that I assumed I wouldn't be able to get a shower, but asking if I could freshen up a little by washing my face and brushing my teeth. That was fine.

That morning was a lot of waiting, being monitored, and meeting different doctors. I got to talk to the NICU doctor, which was actually very comforting.

At some point, it got quiet enough for us to try to get some sleep. Of course, that's when all my emotions crashed down on me and I couldn't stop crying for a bit. I'd finally started calming down when a guy came in and said "Hey! I heard you were asking about taking a shower?!" in the happiest voice ever. Which immediately got my hopes up. He then proceeded to say, "Sorry, but you can't," and left. Enter a continuance of the emotional breakdown, only worse. Andrew was furious. I wish I had gotten that guy's name, because I would be calling to complain about how rude and incredibly disheartening that was.

Anyways, fast forward some. The contractions had finally slowed and become fairly irregular. I was checked again, and still hanging out at 3-3.5 cm. They decided to wheel me down to get another ultrasound, partially to check on Amelia's position, and partially to check on her development. Which meant I got to be unhooked from the IV pole and monitors for a while!

Amelia was head down in the ultrasound, developing well (already 4 lbs, 11 oz), and we got to see that she has a ton of hair. Heading back up to the room afterwards, my nurse (I'm telling you guys, she was awesome) asked me in a lowered voice if I'd still like to take a quick shower because she'd let me do that before hooking me back up to everything.

That shower felt amazing. And it made me feel human. And I'm still so grateful.

By the end of her shift (7 pm), she let me know that she was trying her best to convince the doctors to let me eat something solid. And that, as far as she was aware, they'd be coming in to give me the second steroid shot, then potentially moving me to the antepartum ward since my contractions were almost gone. If that was the case, I'd finally get to eat real food.

Sure enough, I got the second steroid shot (in the thigh this time...which is still sore), was unhooked from the IV pole, and transferred. CJ and Mama Catanese had brought Rin to visit, which made my heart soar, as well as some food, which made my tummy quite happy.

After they left, I got a little more food from the nurse's station and another shower to pass the hour I had before I knew someone would come in to check Amelia's heartbeat and give me my contraction medication. After they did that, I FINALLY got a solid chunk of sleep.

Saturday morning rolled around, and our biggest question was "When do we get to go home?" It took until 12:30/1 to get our answer. From the way the doctors and nurses were talking, it seemed I was going to have to stay another 24 hours at least for observation. Imagine our pleasant surprise when, after they checked to make sure I was still at 3.5 cm, they said we could go home! And that we didn't have to rush. We could shower, pack up, take a breather. We had the room for the rest of the day.

As you can probably imagine, we didn't take that long. I ate my lunch, was monitored one more time to make sure Amelia was happy and that I was indeed done having contractions, then we called my grandparents to come get us and take us home. I showered again while waiting (hospitals may be super clean, but they make me feel super gross), then we loaded up and headed back to Boone.

Overall, I'm glad to be still pregnant. However, I believe I had a needle poked in me 10 times in less than 36 hours (3 shots, 3 IV attempts, 4 blood draws), my cervix checked 4 times in 48 hours, and was on a liquid only diet for a little over 24 hours. I'm glad it's over. I'm tired of being touched by strangers.

The night we got home, we had a delicious dinner thanks to my grandparents (they took me to get food I had been craving). Andrew and I then spent the evening eating ice cream while watching Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them before passing out in our own bed.

Sunday morning, we went ahead and did laundry and (slowly, on my part) went grocery shopping. Miss Rin came home that afternoon and we were so happy to see her!

So, there you go! I probably missed some details, but that's the basic gist of our long and tiring, scary weekend. Thank you all for the well wishes and the prayers. It meant a lot to know we were on the minds of so many. As I said before, I'm still exhausted and trying to squeeze in as many cat naps as necessary so I can be as physically ready for Amelia to start her arrival process again.

And now, I'm going to go nap.

The Scare

Alrighty guys.

This is gonna be a fairly quick update.

The other night, I started feeling a bit nauseated. So I went to bed, thinking that I would feel better after some sleep, like I normally do. Well, I had to get up to go to the bathroom 4 times that night, as opposed to my usual one. Woke up yesterday morning still feeling nauseous, but with lower back aches added in (think "I've got to poop really bad" feeling, but without the poop). Before lunch, I started having what felt like PMS cramps.

I laid down after lunch, hoping these would go away with some rest. They did not. They got worse as the day went on and I ended up feeling contractions as well.

Soooo off to the hospital I went after we put Rin to bed last night.

They put the monitor on me to track my contractions. Sure enough, I was having one 30-45 seconds long every 3-4 minutes.

They tested my pee. It came back "crystal clear." (Doctor's words)

They checked to make sure I wasn't leaking any amniotic fluid. I wasn't.

So they checked to see if the contractions were causing any dilation.....

Uh-oh. Y'all, I apparently am dilated to between 1 and 2 centimeters. (In case you didn't know, they really don't like seeing ANY dilation at 33 weeks).

So they ran this cool test that I didn't even know existed. It's called a Fetal Fibronectin Test. Apparently, fetal fibronectin is a substance the body releases when labor is eminent (like, gonna happen in the next week or two). If the test comes back negative, it's 99.9% accurate.

Mine came back negative. Woohoo!!!

Which means, they're gonna keep an eye on things. And I'm to keep an eye on things and go get checked again if anything changes for the labor-y side of things. But I got to go home (at midnight...so I'm a lotta bit sleepy and looking forward to nap time today).

However, I am now under orders to drink lots and lots of water, to stay off of my feet as much as possible, and to lay on my left side when I can. My activities haven't necessarily been restricted, so I'm not exactly on bed rest.

So that's my fun little story. Here's to hoping and believing this baby is gonna stay corked up for at least another 3 weeks!