The Trenches

Hello all.

My original plan for the past few weeks was to post the previous blog the Saturday before Thanksgiving, then do a post the week after Thanksgiving telling you about all the different recipes we tried that week (and I'm still willing to tell you about them if any of you would like to see a recipe adventure blog post), then keep doing a weekly blog. Obviously, that didn't happen. I posted the above mentioned post about three weeks after the fact, then had a week that I like to compare to being in the trenches.

We all have these times. They can be a few hours, a day, a week, a month, sometimes even a year or more. And they feel like hell.

Last week was one of those weeks.

It started off beautifully. Saturday, the 26th, I got to enjoy some delicious coffee and a doughnut at a local coffee shop while laundry was going.

The next day, we decorated our Christmas tree while singing along (sometimes obnoxiously) to Christmas music.

I don't even think that Monday was too terrible. It was a little crazy because Andrew had to go back to class after almost an entire week off for Thanksgiving. But it was manageable.

That night, I didn't take my savior of a nausea medication because I was out of samples. I figured I maybe I'd be okay. Boy, was I ever wrong. 

I've had food poisoning. The next morning was worse than food poisoning. With that, I tossed my cookies maybe once an hour. With this round of morning sickness, I ran to the bathroom six times in less than three hours. I finally found that ginger ale would stay down. And you can bet your hind end I called the doctor. 

During this awful morning, Andrew had to go to class, and would be gone all day. Which left me to figure out how to deal with Rin while I was stuck snuggling with our toilet bowl. 

Enter Rin's FAVORITE movie: Zootopia. It bought me enough time to get my stomach settled without having to make sure the apartment was staying in one piece!

The doctor called though. They had no samples of the medication because their supplier had been on vacation. The lady told me that the medication costs WAY too much if I'm still waiting on my insurance to come through, but that I could try Unisom and vitamin B6 if I wanted.

Yes. Yes PLEASE!

So I took that and felt a little better in the morning. The doctor called me back the next day to tell me they had samples in again (YES!) and to come pick some up. They provided me with enough to get through the rest of the first trimester!!! 

And that was a highlight of the week.

I took a bath that morning, and left Rin to her own devices in her room so I could bathe in peace and get clean. When I got out, I looked in Rin's room. No pants. No diaper. 

Great...

Fortunately, she didn't pee anywhere on the carpet. What she DID do was pee all over her favorite blanket. 

We do laundry once a week on Saturdays because we use coin laundry. This is only Wednesday. Okay, we'll have to make do and just hope she'll be fine without it (which, for the most part, she was).

Thursday was "reading day" before final exams started Friday. I took the morning to go get my hair trimmed up. When I got home, hell broke loose again and we were back in the trenches. 

I wish I could give you more details, but at this point, my subconscious must have blocked most of it out because I don't remember much. What I do remember is that my toddler was driving my husband and I NUTS!

She became uncooperative in every way. I yelled at her. I cried for yelling at her and thought I was a terrible parent. I forgot to do the little things (like closing cereal containers and running water in dishes so the food doesn't stick and leaving coats laying around) which got Andrew irritated with me. Especially since he already had end-of-semester stress on top of toddler stress. 

There were a lot of tears in this household. Mostly from me, because I cry at everything now.

Friday night, we did that classic stressed couple thing. We got into it over something ridiculously stupid at dinner time. Andrew went to bed early. I got Rin ready for bed and put her down. I went to bed in a pissy mood. 

Welcome, 3:30 am. I woke up to hear crying, which quickly got louder and more frantic, coming from Rin's room. So I stumble in there to comfort her....and I feel wetness on my bare foot on the floor. 

My first thought? Crap, she took her diaper off again. So I stumbled back to the bedroom, put my glasses on, went back to her room and turned on the light. And I see puke. Everywhere. It's on her floor, all her blankets, her stuffed animals, her pajamas....and it's in her hair. 

So I picked her up and ran her to the bathroom, ran some water, stripped her down, and stuck her in the tub. She's still crying. Andrew has now gotten up and put all the blankets and animals in the laundry basket. He comes in the bathroom and tries to get Rin to calm down. She's shivering, so he gets her to lie down in the tub (partly to warm her up and partly to start getting the puke unstuck from her hair). I stripped her crib and put fresh sheets on. 

After cleaning the puke out of her hair (which almost made me get sick), we got her out and got her dried, diapered, and clothed. Then we took turns snuggling. She finally stopped shaking. We put her in a clean crib with a random assortment of folded blankets and clean animals. And at about 4:30, we laid back down. 

The next morning was filled with awkwardness as we all stumbled around sleepily and Rin just wanted to snuggle. We got her feeling better. Andrew did the laundry for me (and I'm so thankful, because ewwwww). And we spoke our feelings. It was awkward. We both said some hurtful things that had been weighing on us. We apologized. 

And we finally started digging our way back out of the trenches.

Now, that was four days ago. Since then, the atmosphere has become a LOT more relaxed. We're back to laughing. We're still getting frustrated because Rin is still being a classic headstrong toddler. I still cry because I feel like an awful mother. 

But we're trying hard to focus on the happy things that happen. And we're enjoying the moments when Rin shows us her joyful side:

We're laughing at my random pregnancy cravings (like chocolate covered doughnuts with sprinkles followed immediately by dill pickles....yes, that really happened).

And even when we have moments of bad news, like Andrew's student teaching placement is in Ashe County (it's a 40 minute drive one way) instead of what would have been much more convenient for our driving and family situations (Watuaga County), we endure.

My mom told me "You guys will do what you always do. You'll make it work." 

Not "You guys are just gonna have to suck it up and just get over it." 

Not "You guys are gonna have to make it work."

But she reminded me that Andrew and I are strong. We've been doing what we need to do to make things work and we can CONTINUE to do what needs doing.

We endure.

And by doing so, we will eventually thrive.